So I haven't posted alot about our day to day struggles in eating, dressing, brushing teeth, routine stuff. I try not to say too much but at times I feel others going thru the struggles of raising an extremely premature child might like hearing someone else's struggles. Either to not feel alone or to find ways to help themselves and their child.
Braden has been progressing in so many areas but our struggles and challenges hinder progress as well. Braden is VERY stubborn but with that said he is getting better. Braden has been very use to Mommy doing everything and when you have a medically fragile child you have to do alot for them if not everything. But once that child is no longer as fragile it becomes a problem that has to be undone. That is one of our current struggles. Most people do a reward system to break these habits and encourage the child to do tasks. But Braden isn't always a big fan of rewards. He likes stickers OK but not thrilling for him, he doesn't like candy all that much, you can't take him for ice cream so what else can you do? Well we do High Fives and hugs. We still use some stickers and that's a hit or miss. He loves songs so sometimes that works. We also have to remove all distractions. If he has any at all he looses focus quick. Especially if we are asking him to undress, dress or put on his shoes. Another struggle is carrying the weight of a growing child. Most 3 1/2 - 4 year olds can do many things by themselves and want to do alot by themselves. But Braden although capable doesn't always want to walk up the stairs or down them. He doesn't always cooperate to get himself in the car. Or he drops like a rag doll to the ground when he doesn't want to do something. He is 30 lbs now so that is alot of weight and now the nutritionist has given a higher calorie diet to increase his growth even more. Waiting on Braden to encourage and get him to do these things on his own takes a mountain of patience. The best way I can describe Braden versus an average child is this... Grayson walks out of the house and runs down the hill in a matter of a few seconds. Braden walks out of the house and barely makes it to the end of the walk before he just stops and stares or gets excited as he watches Grayson run down the hill. The thought never occurs to Braden to run down the hill with him. Same thing happens in the back yard. Grayson will go pick up a ball without even thinking and throw it. Braden has to be encouraged and shown and worked with to get him going. Otherwise, he just observes everything around him. Not knocking him one bit as he enjoys what he does... but it is an example of how much work it takes to get him to do just the simpliest of things. His little mind is still catching up and observing is more of his learning than actually doing even now at almost 4 years old. When we experience break thru behaviour it makes us teary. Like the other nite when Braden got in the tub with his clothes on ready for a bath and started playing with the toys. (by the way if you undress him he won't get in the tub. He will only get in by himself if he is fully clothed. lol) He got so upset when I told him it wasn't bath nite. We have been bathing the boys every other nite because of Braden's eczema issues. But after that I felt so bad for he wants bath time as an every nite routine that we are trying it out and hoping that lotioning him up real good will keep him from having a break out. The other day Braden wanted to speak so badly that he almost, if he had words, spoke to me. So once again I refreshed my memory on additional signs and am trying my best to use as many signs as possible hoping he will pick up new words. We use to work on just one or two words at a time because it took so long for him to pick them up or want to use them. But he has finally seen the light and realizes how important they are to getting what he wants... so now the work is on us to give him that vocabulary. We have also realized that the only way to get Braden to do his tasks such as pick up toys and put them away or do puzzles is by creating a short lists. What I mean by that is that he has to know exactly what has to be done and what his reward is before he will do it. His therapist are still showing us how to do this properly. So I will share once I know all the different ways to get him motivated. Currently the only thing I know to do is lay out puzzle pcs and take whatever he has in his mouth away and he'll finish asap. lol Just to get that item back. Or just lay the project out in advance and let him casually do what he wants to help. As long as I don't get uptight or frustrated and just kinda roll with it the better it will go. Which is EXTREMELY difficult for me. But I have gotten much better about letting them be kids and having expectations but not to lofty ones. I also am a freak about having all the toys and their pcs. together with their respective other pcs. and parts. lol So when pcs and parts get lost it really gets me. So now I just try to keep them together in an effort to make sure the boys have plenty to do and not for my sanity. They play best when their toys are put together but they don't know if something's missing or at least not yet. I'm sure there will be meltdowns in our future but right now they are too young to worry about it.
So a little about our Grayson. Grayson is still a ball of fire, tornado and daredevil. He is growing like a weed despite his resistance to food. He is currently at my side begging for my attention so I will have to be brief. lol He is catching up to Braden in some ways which is great because he can challenge Braden. They get into little arguments, jealousy spats and sometimes love on one another. Grayson loves bath time and likes to literally climb everything. He is close to walking up stairs, helps at times with putting on his clothes, just discovered how fun it is to dig in drawers and throw his clothes all over the floor, and he loves cars, trucks, ducks and dinasours. He is a hoot most of the time and still likes to bang his head when he gets mad. Which just kills us because well we don't need any additional hospital visits. So far he bangs his head lightly. I think mainly for attention now that he is so close to his terrible two's. We are experiencing a few tantrums when told the dreaded NO but all in all he is a decent listener and obeys fairly well. At least for now... :-) He is also a chatter box even though he is still without any new real words. I'm sure it's just around the corner and sooo excited to see what happens next for both of them. What a fancinating new year this is going to be...
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